The Great Absolute Nothingness

Dat's da Dizzle fo Shizzle

2006-05-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

Alright, I've been asked by many: "What about auto-mechanics?"

The answer is simple: I like to work on cars. I do, plus the auto mechanics field is in demand here...BUT...I LOVE COMPUTER/CONSOLE GAMES!!!!! I love to play them. I own a million of them, I collect them. Why not make them?

I have a huge imagination...it runs wild all the time, let me tell you! So, I decided to put it to work. It's also somewhat of a bonus that I have wanted to make games and work for a company like Blizzard Entertainment since the appearance of WarCraft...Who doesn't want to live thier childhood dream?

So, there you have the explanation, I hope that clears it up for you. While there are MANY more perks about this new decision, these are the basics.

I hope you all have a good night!

Thanks everyone!

2006-05-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

I just wanna say thank you to all those who read my blog and put up with the frequent self-destructive blogs. I know it can be quite annoying and sometimes it may make you worry about the person writing them.

Don't worry! I'm alright and for those of you who know me I do eventually pull out of those ruts where I am depressed.

Things haven't been going too well lately but I am coping and again want to say thank you to those of you who put up with me.

A little word on the Songs by Killjoy blogs: I was not in a bad mood when I posted those...they were in fact written several years ago and I just thought I would post them to see what people thought.

I'm still trying to find a college with a convenient location that offers mechanics programs, but I haven't had much luck...maybe I'll find something soon.

Anywho, I hope you are all doing well and that life is treating you fairly. Goodnight!

I HAVE A DREAM!

2006-05-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

So folks, another wonderous week has gone by...(don't ask how it went...it wasn't pretty).

Either way, I found out another hobby I enjoy: WORKING ON CARS! I want to become an ASE certified mechanic so I can do what I like and make money...also it would be a great help with another interest.

What? Did I not mention this other interest? WOW! Well, I'll tell you! It is none other than................(are you ready?): Buying classic junk piles and restoring them to thier former glory as muscle cars! Wow...you know what I'm talking about!

1970 Ford Gran Torino(Starsky and Hutch car)
1970 Dodge Challenger (450 Mopar engine...4 on the floor...also the Fast and the Furious car)
1969 Dodge Charger
1967 Chevy Corvette
1965 Ford Mustang
1962 Shelby Cobra 500
19??(can't remember the year or make) Dolorian
1964 Ford Fairlane
1957 Chevy Bel-Air(not sure how to spell it)
1969 Chevy Camaro (any of the older models will do actually)

You get the idea. I have a '70 Gran Terino just beyond my grasp at the moment...I'll start with that one once I have it.

Anywho...goodnight y'all!

Whatever...

2006-05-05T16:43:00.000-07:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
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Songs by Killjoy Pt. 2

2006-05-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

(Chorus)She tore my heart, tore it good
She took my love, beneath her boot
She hurt my pride, hurt it good
She crushed my life, burned to soot

You came and loved me, loved me true
You healed my pain, but not for long
You don't deserve this, my tears aren't from you
you deserve the best, more than this song

(Chorus)

I never asked for you to come here
But you did, that's why I hold you dear
This wound's still open though, still bleeds
This heart still hurts, but cause of you still beats

You don't need to tell me that you're not her
I know this all too well, yet I still cry
I see the hurt I cause you, you head for the door
Please don't leave me now, I swear it'll bleed me dry

(Chorus)

I never asked you to love me
But you do, now you can see
This prison that holds me, self-created
I've become everything and nothing, self-hated

(music softens words are spoken, not sung)
Baby-I know you care
Really-I see you there
Every man wants your charms,
but you still hold me in your arms
I don't mean put that hurt in those eyes
But don't leave me, if you do my heart'll die
(Music picks back up)

(Chorus)

I'm trapped, caged in tears
I'm whipped, a slave to fears
I can't get out, no, never out
I can't say what you need, to shout,
I love you
(softly)But I do, yes, I do.

Songs by Killjoy Pt. 1

2006-05-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

(V1)I see a strange shade of gray
Since you went away
For me there is no day
In my mind is where you'll stay

(Bridge)

I saw you on the street today
You turned and walked away
For me there's only pain
From my skies falls only rain

(Chorus)My hearts on fire
'Cause you're a liar
I'm always cryin'
But I'm not dyin'.
The worlds still turnin'
Though I'm still burnin'
You leavin' me was not the end
You were my only sin

(V2)At first were happy days
All colors; No shades of gray
I meant the words that I would say
My heart still screams them to this day

(Bridge)

You can't see what you've done to me

(Bridge)

We could never be

(Bridge)

(Chorus)

I see a strange shade of gray
*My heart's on fire
Since you went away
*'Cause you're a liar
For me there is no day
*I'm always cryin'
In my mind is where you'll stay
*But I'm not dyin'

Hmmm...

2006-05-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Santa Monica

2006-04-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

She fills my bed with gasoline,

You think I would have noticed.

Her mind's made up,

the love is gone.

Think someone's trying to show us a sign...

that even if if we thought it would last,

the moment would pass.

My bones will break and my heart will give,

Oh it hurts to live.

---

*Oh I remember the day,

When you left for Santa Monica

You left me to remain with all your excuses for everything.

And I remember the time,

When you left for Santa Monica,

Yeah I rmember the day you told me "It's over"

---

It hurts to breathe,

Every time that your not next to me.

Her mind's made up-the girl is gone.

And now I'm forced to see.

I think I'm on my way

Oh it hurts to live today

She said "Don't you wish you were dead like me?"

---

*Oh I remember the day,

When you left for Santa Monica.

You left me to remain with all your excuses for everything.

And I remember the time,

When you left it all behind-

Yeah I remember the day you told me "It's over"

***

*"Santa Monica"-Theory of a Dead Man

I love this song. If you have time, get it! It's beautiful...though a little depressing.

Sometimes I wish I was dead...other times I wish everyone else was.

-Killjoy (December 24, 2004)

*Missing Person

2006-04-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

"There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain,

And like a child he would believe without a reason,

Without a trace he dissapeared into the void and,

I've been searchin' for that missing person.

He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow,

He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow.

It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately but...

I've been searchin' for that missing person."

It seems no matter how hard I try that I can't seem to go back to the way I thought, believed and lived before my ex-fiance. I've searched everywhere, but I seem to have lost the trail of my missing person.

"Another question in me,

One for the powers that be,

It's got me thrown and so I

*put on my poker face*

And try to figure it out,

this undeniable doubt,

A common occurance-

*Feeling so out of place*

Gaurded and cynical now,

Can't help from wondering how,

My heart evolved into the-

*Rock beating inside of me*

So I reel,

such a stoic ordeal,

Where's that feeling that I don't feel?!"

Long since gone I tell you, though every now and then I feel a little of it. I want to hold on to it but it always slips away. Maybe someday I'll find my "missing person".

*"Missing Person" by Micheal W. Smith (if you haven't heard it, its awsome)

I'm the baby! Change my diaper!

2006-04-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

You know, I wonder sometimes what women really want in a man. Do they want a guy who cares? Who takes out thier trash? Who brings them a flower when they frown to say "I'm sorry" or just to see them smile(because to them there is nothing more beautiful)? Who is willing to admit his faults and work on them and talk about the relationship's problems to make it work out?

Seriously! I wish someone could tell me and make me understand!

I have recently been called childish because I like to play my XBOX when I get frustrated or angry. I've been called childish because I brought my ex-girlfriend flowers as a way to brighten her day when she was feeling ill.

CHILDISH?! Well, if I'm such a baby, BRING ON THE HUGGIES!!!!!
Is it being childish when your pregnant girlfriend is uncomfortable and you worry about it and do everything to make her feel better?! Is it childish when you refuse to let her take her trash out at night in a bad neighborhood because you couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her(so you do it for her)?! IS IT CHILDISH TO GO OUT AND BUY HER AND HER 2 YEAR OLD SON FOOD WHEN THEY HAVE NONE?!

WILL SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!!!!!

You know, just for once, I'd love to get a girlfriend who accepts me for WHO I AM, not who THEY THOUGHT I WAS...is that too much to ask? Noone is who you think they are at first glance.

I need a girlfriend who LIKES to wear dresses. Never had one of those...bah, who am I kidding, that type wouldn't even look at me.

Skrew this, I'm not trusting another woman again. YOU'RE ALL HYPOCRITICAL LIARS WITH MORE BAGGAGE THAN AN AIRPORT BAGGAGE RETURN AFTER THE HOLIDAYS!

I hate being single but I hate relationships even more. Used to love em. So much for getting married and having kids. GOODNIGHT!

Scared Stiff...or maybe just mildly afraid??

2006-04-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

I came to a realization today. One that really scares me...but let me tell you the back-story first.

I came home from work today intending to do some cleaning...of what you ask? Simple: my sawed-off pistol-grip 20 gauge shotgun (or, to put it simply, the Home Defender). I went inside mi casa and proceeded to look for the shotgun cleaning/greasing kit to oil up my killer toy when my phone rang.

Alright, you might be wondering: "why would his phone ringing be so important as to merit a new paragraph??" Why, this is easy! You'll see as you continue to read.

So, I answer my phone to find that my dad is needing an old worn shirt to weld in(we are currently in the process of building a new tank...err...I mean, fence). So I take to looking for suitable attire for my father. Upon my failure to find one, I decide that the Home Defender can wait to be greased and it's about time to head back to work and do some serious cleaning.

I head out the door and lock it (as is tradition in my family). I proceed to the rear of my Blazer to replace it in it's rightful place in the back of the SUV. Now, here's where things get interesting!!!! As I reach to unlock the rear hatch I hear a scraping sound coming from under the passenger side of Lucky(my Blazer's name...) so I walk around to investigate.

LO AND BEHOLD, what do I find????? There's some punk kid under Lucky!!!! Apparently he is very hard of hearing because he didn't know I was there until I kicked him in the ribs and cocked the shotgun... Needless to say, his pants were quite wet when he pulled himself out (cursing me, I might add) to find the barrel of a shotgun (sawed-off to boot!) two inches from his face!

Now, to shorten the stroy a bit, I threatened his life should I EVER find him on my property again and let him run his pissy-jeans self out of dodge. Now, again you must be wondering: "What does this have to do with a scary realization?"
I'm getting to that, don't worry(you wonder alot don't you?).

The point of the story is: When I was holding that gun scant inches from his nose I realized: I could pull this trigger and blow off his face without remorse. I could turn his head into a canoe and look at the gore afterwards and not flinch. And had the gun been loaded(good thing it wasn't) I WOULD HAVE PULLED THE TRIGGER. Now, this scares me. ALOT. Do I have so much hatred that I could take someone's life, someone's son, someone's boyfriend, someone's brother and not care about the repurcussions?

I guess I have a lot of thinking to do...I used to know that I could not do such a thing...now? Hmmm...Its sad how having your heart ripped out visciously over and over can do that to you. I didn't know I was this angry.

Goodnight folks...pray for me if you do.

BOOM*

2006-04-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

'Tis the season to go shooting,
fa'la'la'la'la la boom boom boom
Creatures pass with young men hooting,
fa'la'la'la'la la boom boom boom
Don we now our camo apparel
fa'la'la'la'la la boom boom boom
Fur a-flying, rounds a-spraying,
fa'la'la'la'la la boom boom boom
Home we go relaxed and satisfied,
FA'LA'LA'LA'LA LA BOOM BOOM BOOM

Who said I have no knack for poetry and lyricism?
Hee hee hee

*To be sung by that evil little voice in your head to the tune of "Deck the Halls"

Love Taught Me*

2006-04-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

Even if all the days,
when I smiled alot,
should turn out,
to be nothing but a lovely dream,
that would be alright with me,
if that's all it means...

My mind's unrest,
struggling with me,
recalling the past,
who I could be...
gotta rise and be strong
gotta be tough but not lose the person I am.

Two lives I have.
One life I live,
one life I dream.
In dreams I remember,
the better in me.
Vision don't let me down,
I'm depending on you
carry me through when I see...

Reality

*Laura Bailey: Blue Gender End Theme

Long time in the coming

2006-04-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long folks...I haven't really been in the mood to do anything lately but kill things, or at least, shoot something and pretend I killed it. Let me give you the down low on how I have been doing lately. Warning! The following is more of the good 'ol heartbreak and pissiness.

Ok, first of all, I have not a had real girlfriend since I broke up with my ex-fiance two and a half years ago. So, I will give you a timeline of what has been on my mind lately:

February 10, 2006
Killjoy meets girl at friends house (a friend of a friend) and thinks *Hey, she's cute, sweet and has a good sense of humor!*

February 26, 2006
Girl breaks up with boyfriend, he was too obsessive. Killjoy is mad that boyfriend treats her bad

February 30, 2006
Killjoy nearly kills boyfriend for what he has done to girl...fight starts but is quickly broken up

March 4, 2006
Girl's B-day! She has Killjoy's friend try (he's not that clever) to find out how killjoy feels about her because she's shy. Killjoy asks her out after much deliberation. Girl tells killjoy that he has made her B-day.

March 6-24, 2006
Girl treats Killjoy better than any girl ever has before. Makes killjoy home-fried chicken supper with mashed potatoes and tea (killjoy is overwhelmed). She calls killjoy "just wanting to talk to you" all the time. Killjoy finds he likes being bugged, even at work. Girl also tells killjoy "you are the best and sweetest boyfriend I have ever had". Killjoy is happy. Killjoy also gets attached to girl's 2 year old boy in this time (he's one cool kid!).

March 25, 2006
Girl tells Killjoy "You are so good to me, I think I'm falling for you!"

March 26, 2006
Killjoy calls girl, she says shes sick. Killjoy buys her a flower to brighten her day.

March 27-31, 2006
Talks with girl are few and far between, killjoy is worried for girls health.

April 1, 2006
Girl goes to concert in Roswell with killjoy and friends. Girl laughs and has fun with friends, totally and completely ignores killjoy. Killjoy is hurt, bad.

April 2-10, 2006
Girl absolutely refuses to talk to killjoy, says she hates him, but wont say why. Killjoy goes mad with confusion and grief.

April 11, 2006
Good female friend of killjoys goes to girl's house. Gets answers. Killjoy had been used from the beginning. Girl had planned it all out, she had known about killjoy before they had even met. Girl had even been cheating on killjoy. Killjoy is distraught.

Now you know how I've been doing people, just great. And by great I mean horrible. But, at least you know. I hope I'll blog again soon. Goodnight.

WHY ME?!

2006-02-16T21:40:00.000-08:00

Today wasn't a bad day really, though I was late for work again. It was actually pretty good. Until tonight. Then IT happened...

*Killjoy enters the clinic, intent upon mopping the floor until it has a mirror-finish. He then thinks of something.*
"I think I'll check my e-mail real quick," he says.
*Killjoy proceeds to check his e-mail, and he sees IT.*
"Wow, yet another e-mail from some stupid dating agency that is desperate for customers...might as well see what moronic ploy they are going to use on me before I delete it," he mutters.
*The e-mail is an actual letter! It is from a Russian girl! WOW! Killjoy is astonished for the following reasons:

She is Russian (Killjoy has a thing for Russian accents)
She has red hair (Killjoy likes red hair)
SHE IS 5'8"!!!!!! (Killjoy's idea of the perfect hight for a girlfriend/wife!!!)
She is....CHRISTIAN! (Could it get ANY BETTER?!)
She is 21!!!!! (KILLJOY IS 21!!!!!)
She sent pictures(don't worry they are decent) (SHE IS HOT!!!!)

*Killjoy is overcome with happiness! He checks the links and every other possible way to determine a hoax....IT'S REAL!*

*That's when he sees the e-mail address the e-mail was SUPPOSED to go to: bossmann30. Killjoy's is boss_turtle....*

There you have it folks. Incredible, but true (I swear on my name!). That is how my day was crushed.

I'm going home to cry myself to sleep. Goodnight.

Career Opportunities?

2006-02-15T19:34:00.000-08:00

Well folks, I'm thinking of staying here in Artesia and becoming a veterinary technician. That means working with my father permanantly. There are a lot of reasons, and my mother seems to think it's a good idea. Who knows? I enjoy my job and there is always plenty to do. This past two weeks I have been learning to be a tech. I can give Sub-Q and IM shots, insert catheters, and I have become a dental assistant tech(mainly entails monitoring vitals and giving shots).
The girls here are sweet and mostly helpful(they have thier moments...so do I but mine are usually bad...). I have to say that Artesia Animal Clinic is THE BEST place to work in all of New Mexico. Maybe not the highest paying, but the Bosses are fair and do everything they can to help you with any problem you may have. Besides, I can pay my bills, buy most everything I need and still buy my parents lunch every now and then so the pay isn't bad at all.

Well, I guess this blog has been about not much of anything, sorry. I'll try to continue my new story tomorrow. Goodnight folks.

The Shadow's Call

2006-02-14T18:55:00.000-08:00

I decided to write another story folks. We'll see how this turns out. This time, it's just for your reading enjoyment. Hope you enjoy!

Journal of Thomas Birch, Detective, NewHollow PD
December 13, 1922
Business has been slow of late. Sometimes I wonder why I even moved away from New York. In my two weeks here I have been sent on only one case. No wonder, really. This town has a population of barely six and a half hundred people. At least I get a cozy office. Hopefully I'll start seeing some action soon.

-----

Letter from unknown address to the NHPD
December 19, 1922
I am writing on behalf of the town of Shade's Hill. While the authorities here do not know of this letter being sent to you, I assure you it is needed. We(the towns folk) have been scared witless as of late. There have been screams heard from the warehouses in the dock district in the dead of night and a few folk have recently gone missing. The authorities in town have been notified, but nothing has been done. I am an upstanding member of the church, good sirs, and I believe there to be some sort of blasphemy going on here...Please send someone to investigate this matter.

Yours truly,
Aunonymous

-----

Journal of Thomas Birch
December 20, 1922
I recieved this letter out of Shade's Hill this morning. The Chief says it's my job. To tell the truth, I really don't mind. I haven't had a good case in nearly a month, espeacially not a murder case. Besides, I'm told Shade's Hill is a nice town with the best seafood around. I leave first thing in the morning. The boys here at the station also gave me a welcome gift(it may be late but oh well). Its a Colt .45, beautiful. It sure beats not having a weapon.

-----
To be continued...

The stuggle...

2006-02-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it is public knowledge yet (or better yet, I can't REMEMBER...) but I am struggling up the steep and slippery slope back to "Christianhood". Now, I'm not being sarcastic: I mean it. I have been failing miserably as of late (I alsways do...worst than most I imagine) but I'm trying.

So, here I am at work with a bunch of CHRISTIAN co-employees and I've noticed a couple of things as I have compared how I am doing in my spiritual war with satan to others' battles:

I have heard two of these(and these are the two that preach alot) so-called CHRISTIANS talking smack about the third employee (who does not preach).
E#3, who (I don't really know if she's a christian, I don't think so...) does not preach, acts more like the Big Man himself (dare I say it?! JESUS! HA HA! Take that liberals!) than the other two.
I have heard (on several occaisions) E#2 cuss for stupid reasons.

Time out! I cus like a sailor (or I used to, I'm getting better! I'm so proud!) and I look back on that and I hear E#2 say those things and I cringe. DO YOU KNOW HOW IDIODIC CUSS WORDS SOUND?! Don't get me wrong, I slip too. I slip often. BUT I DON'T PREACH JESUS' NAME AND USE THEM IN THE SAME SENTENCE!

How...uh, oh...here's THE word: HYPOCRITICAL!

GOOD GOLLY!!!!

HOLY COW!!!!

Hmmm...I bet satans licking his lips...

In closing, I'd like to say: If I was even HALF as holy as those two think they are, I'd be nominated for sainthood by the AETHEISTS!!!!

Good night folks!

I HAD A DREAM!! Wait a moment...

2006-02-07T19:36:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...Does anyone else find dreams a little funny? I think one could learn alot of from them, personally. There's those that fortell the future(in a way...some refer to it as "deja vou", but that's a blog for another time). There's those that express your fears, desires, needs, and memories. Now, I had a dream last night that for some reason I can't quite place it and where it should go. Normally, my dreams are either depressing or violent(depending on how my day went, the happy dreams I usually don't remember)

Well, I'm gonna share it with you (or at least, what I can remember of it), and I'll let you decide what it means...hopefully you'll let me know.

Now, I was walking down downtown main st. (Artesia) with my friends Chu and Will headed east. I remember seeing the 1st National sign, but could read what time it was. It was a sunny day, warm (not hot mind you) and the street was pretty busy, alot of people walking besides us. As we started to pass Formal Elegance, I see this girl that, for some strange reason I know not, seems REALLY familiar. She is blonde, long hair, pretty eyes(can't remember the color) and was weraing blue jeans and a baby-blue shirt, the kind that has 1/4 sleeves that are kinda puffy.
She was beautiful, though I CAN'T REMEMBER HER FACE! GRRRRRR! I saw it then, but I can't recall...Anyways, She joined our party after the usual casual formalities(hee hee...oxymoron) and we continued our stroll, but this time we headed east. After a while, I remember looking back and the boys had vanished. For some reason, this did not bother me like it usually would. More time passes and then we are facing each other (I get the feeling this is weeks, months, or maybe even a year later. She says, "Killjoy(insert my name), we've known each other for a while now, but..." And I reply, "Yes (insert her name...GRRRRR, can't remember!!!!)? And she says, "Why are we not going out?" And I say, "Because I haven't asked you yet..."
And I don't know what I said after that. There's a lot of static cause I don't remember what happened next, then:
We are sitting by a fireplace(not my parent's), there's a weight on my finger like a ring...but I don't look down, I don't feel the need to, so I don't know if it was a wedding band. We don't say anything, just enjopy each other's company. I remember looking at her oftern, she is so beautiful that I could do that forever, and she just looks back into my eyes and smiles. We kiss and I wake up feeling a deep sense of loss. It soon passes, but...it was one of those dreams you don't want to wake up from. Maybe that's why it lasted 12 hrs...

Need your input people. I feel like I knew her from high school. Not as close friends, but as someone I talked to nearly everyday. An acquaitence that I was comfortable around...but noone comes to mind. It is frustrating and depressing!

Good night folks.

YAY FOR BILLS!

2006-02-07T19:23:00.000-08:00

The title says it all right?!

YOUR RIGHTS?! Sit down, shut up and listen!

2006-02-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

I can't believe the state our country is in these days. One person in a million stands up and starts to gripe and gets thier way because noone else stands up to counter them! First we lost prayer in school, then we lost it at football games etc... NOW: The same Bi@#$ that took those rights away is at it again! She is trying to take all CHRISTmas themes off the TV and radio along with all the other christian broadcasts! SOMEONE SLAP THAT WHORE! If she is so offended by the christian beliefs, then SHE CAN CHANGE THE CHANNEL!

The ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) is trying to take the "One Nation Under GOD" out of the pledge and have the US CONSTITUTION REWITTEN! HOW DARE THEY?! MY Civil Liberties include worshipping the way I WANT TO and being pround of belonging to a country that was founded on CHRISTIAN BELIEFS and following a constitution that was founded on THE TEN COMMANDMENTS!!!!!

So, in closing (this is where I step off of my soap-box) I would like to have one last rave here:
IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON, FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND RELIGION, AND MY BELIEFS...GET THE F$%# OUT OF MY COUNTRY!!!!! THE USSR WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE TO YOUR LIKING YOU STINKIN COMMIES!

Ram, here's another for ya!

2006-01-26T20:02:00.000-08:00

Good news! I'm gonna have oral surgery again! WOO-HOO!

Actually, I do like anesthesia...it is so wierd feeling. Ram, sis, remember one thing: if something bad happens to you and you do pass on...I'm having a New Mexico Certified (BIG consolence there) hack and slash at my mouth AGAIN and I will probably be joining you in the great hereafter. Anyways, anesthesiologists have to have extensive training to have the job (relatively) and it is the ONLY thing they do. So you should be fine. Plus, I have this sneaking suspicion that your surgery will go alot better than mine, but that's fine. Wish you well. I hope you read this before monday (I can't wait for my surgery...I just love it).

Good night y'all!

Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut...

2006-01-24T20:20:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been an interesting day. I was running errands for work and one of them just happened to be "run home, get stool for Altus to use". This also just happened to be a VERY good thing. I got home and started for the stool. Upon reaching the dining room, I smell a funny acrid smell...maybe mom left the oven on and sumthin's burnin? Nope, upon further investigation I found that the smell did not originate in the kitchen at all, but in my room. What could it possibly be? Well, I decided to investigate(naturally) and headed for my door. The smell was overpowering as I opened my door to find the cause: my X-box was burning! Not burning as in flames, but burning as in a certain laser trying to read something that was not there and consequently frying the inside of the wonderous machine of fun. Yes folks, by a freak of nature, my electronic angel had it's wings ripped off. I could only think of one thing(after the stream of very colorful metaphors finally ebbed down to a trickle): It's a good thing I got there when I did or I might have returned to a home that wasn't there anymore. On top of various other small problems, this stressed me out. Good news: it didn't ruin my day. Amazing. It's just one of those things...crap happens.

Good night y'all.

It's been a long period of wet eyes and hurt heads...

2006-01-23T21:12:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's been so long everyone. The doc took me off Paxil(anger issues...yes, even I have anger issues). He then decided to put me in the ever-growing pop of the usa that uses the miracle drug we call ZOLOFT. Wow. It works I guess...
I was reading Beef's blog and noticed he did a 20 things no one knew thing...Well, I'm stealing it. Good thing is: I'm 21, so you get an extra! Excited? Well, can't win for losin I guess...here goes:

I love rock and roll, but a song that brings a tear to my eye is the best.
I don't really smoke...the cigarette does. (that's a joke...I came up with it all by myself...)
I have better sight out of my left eye than my right (cool eh?)
Missing being able to spend my sibs birthdays with them when they do makes me cry(yes, I cry...gotta problem, stuff it)
I am pretty sure that when I am angry, 90% of the time I'm only mad at myself
I don't hold grudges that well (what can I say, I have butter-fingers!)
No matter what I do I feel like I dissapoint my parents
I hate myself (I'm fat, ugly-don't argue...I've been told MANY times so...)
I wake up at night crying because of nightmares about my ex-fiance (I know, 3 years and I'm still a puppy)
I lie when I'm cornered(usually)
I hate getting up early, but love sunrises
I play video games alot 'cause in a game, you're someone else
I have absolutely no willpower
I have no self-esteem
I love the colors black, blue, and silver
I collect knives/daggers/swords
I collect anime series (blue gender, inuyasha...)
I am depressed, even on meds, even when I'm laughing (meds make it easier to laugh)
My smiles are rarely genuine
I love construction work
I harbor more secrets than the FBI or CIA...

There you have it folks...things VERY few people know about me. Y'all have a goodnight.

Loopy Loopy Loopy Loopy LOOPY!!!!!!!!

2005-12-29T19:26:00.000-08:00

HEY!!!!! WUSSUP FOLKS?! The happy me is back (although not because of my adoring fans threats...I could whoop all ya pansies with one hand!). No, it's all thanx to the wonderful miracle drug: PAXIL! Yes, Paxil. I can rest, I don't stay mad for very long, and I am absolutely happy go lucky now. This is great, but it is tempered by one little thing: IT HAS MADE ME LOOPY TODAY! AbSoLuTeLy LoOpY! WoOpIeE!!!!! Loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy...I'm as loopy as a flippin roller coaster!!!! WEE-HEE! NOW I HaVe to Go sO I cAn StArT cLeAnInG!!!! YAY!!! I gEt tO CLEAN!!! WOOPIE!!! (woopie sounds kinda like loopy!) loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy loopy looppy loopy lopy loopy lopopy loopyloo...

Sorry to sucker ya...

2005-12-27T19:53:00.000-08:00

Alright people, I'm starting to get the feeling that I have suckered some of you into thinking I'm some cool person just like the rest of my family, albeit a little troubled. Well, you're wrong. I'm nothing like my fam. Here's the DL:

Dad: Super smart Veterinarian. Is also a welder, carpenter, plumber, electrician and family man on the side. Cares about everyone and you'll almost never see him angry(unless he's mad at me...). A true devout christian who lives his beliefs and has the willpower to stick to his morals no matter what.

Mom: Super smart Accountant/Payroll Clerk. She is also a Sunday School teacher on the side, as well as a awsomely caring and loving mother/wife.

Ram: The oldest of the trio. Super beautiful, smart and witty. Fits in with any crowd (wether they know it or not) and has huge talent with instruments, art and working with kids/people.

Beef: Youngest of the trio. Super smart, handsome and witty (albeit most of the time his wit is sarcastic). Knows almost everything there is to know about guns, corvettes, Constitutional Rights(when it comes to guns and free speech) and present-day politics. Is following in Dad's footsteps with the handyman thing.

And finally:

Me: Middle of the trio. I am not smart, nor am I very handsome. I am told I have a good way with kids, but I really don't like to be around them much anymore(long story...don't ask). I have an extremely short fuse that ignites an extremely hot temper. I hate myself and so I lash out at everyone and everthing around me. I am also the farthest thing from a christian you can be(excluding devil-worship).

Biggest difference: My family is classy and friendly and straight forward. I am tasteless, psudo-friendly and have a shady reason behind everything I do.

Now you have the facts, you won't be fooled anymore. Goodnight.

Daydreams, Nightdreams, Dreams in general.

2005-12-22T20:54:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking: "Two blogs in one day?!" Yes, but the first gripe out blog was just that, a full-of-hot-air gripe out blog. Sorry.

Now for the real blog today. I had a dream lastnight, well, two actually. And they were nightmares to tell the truth. To give a little background, the first dream is one I have had almost every night to the same effect for the last 5 years.

Dream 1: I was standing on a beach in California, in front of a big dais, the kind the preacher stands on at a wedding. I was wearing a tux and waiting paitently in front of a huge crowd. In this dream it is the happiest day of my life, and my face shows it. If you haven't guessed yet, it's my wedding. But not just any wedding: suddenly the love of my life(my ex-fiance Candie) comes walking down the ailse(sp?) in the most beautiful wedding dress and looking absolutely ravishing. We say our "I do's" and all that ya-ya.

Now, this isn't what you think: "That should be a happy dream!" It's a nightmare because it was the one thing (if I could pick one thing in my life to have had happen, this would have been it) I REALLY wanted. Well, I usually wake up crying in the middle of the night(yeah, I know, what a wuss)

Dream 2: It is usually not the same, but it always ends the same: waking up feeling very frustrated that it did not come true... Ok, I was walking down the road to buy a coke from the conveniance store when a Semi truck hits me.

Short dream, but a good one. If only...

Oy Vey!

I don't make it TOO obvious that I despise myself, do I?

Input? Nope, just the output...

2005-12-22T20:15:00.000-08:00

Allright folks, I was asked to write a book and I started one. All I asked for was input...did I get any? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So, in light of this, the book is being cancelled. I figure since people didn't respond to the second episode, it sucks. Don't worry, I'm not mad...I agree. It suck big time. So, my career as a writer will for ever be in the "I've got great ideas, but they suck when put on paper" mode. Hmmmm, maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

Goodnight folks.

P.S.- Discom, it's REALLY hard to fool me with things like beauty...(man, If I keep going on like this it's going to start sounding like I'm hitting on you...sorry) Although, sure I'll join your army. Can I be the strategic counsel? General? The guy that says, "You heard the lady, now MOVE!!!!!"? Oh, that's the drill seargent...

Psychological problems? Nope, just me.

2005-12-21T19:03:00.000-08:00

I was doin a bit of thinkin tonight as I mopped the floors and I came to the conclusion...well, several conclusions actually. I also have my christmas list made up. I'll give you the concl. first.

Discom is REALLY hot. Yeah, what a woman...she must also have a personality to match if Ram and Beef like her so much.
I have the best family in the world. No, really! Who else would put up with me even half of what they do?
I hate holidays.

Ok, now that the 3 conclusions are done, I'll share with you my christmas list:

Jonathan to find a beautiful, loving and intelligent woman sometime soon to marry him and take care of him (oh yeah, and treat him right)
Laura to lose all the stress over the holidays and begin the new year a fresh, soon to be happily married woman.
My parents to become debt-free so they can do the things they want to do.
My friends to find inner peace and for life to start giving them what they really deserve, no more of this trash that is usually thrown thier way.
!0 million dollars so I can aid in making the above come true.
For me to find inner peace with myself and learn to forgive myself so I can finally become the person I have always wished I was.
A cyanide-spiked glass of punch so (after I have dealt out the money from #5) I can make #6 come true and further aid in the first 4.

Well, that's about it...I think. I couldn't tell you which one I wanted most, but it is probably a tie between #5 and #7....My family and friends really need the money and I really need to die...problems would be solved all the way around right?

I've got to go now and find some dark corner in which to curl up, hate myself and cry my damn fool self to sleep.

Goodnight folks.

RF Chapter 1 cont.

2005-12-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

John stayed heading south-west for only a few minutes before he turned the MC toward the base and open the throttle again. Within a few short moments John was stopping at the outer perimiter fence and being checked through by the gaurds at the gate. The stars were out in full and the planet's four moons shone brightly tonight. It was going to be a shame to have to waste what was left of the evening in a briefing...

John returned to his room in the HQ (being the commander of an outpost on the outer-rim of human controlled space had a few perks, this being one of them). He sat down in the floating chair that awaited him there and it promptly moved him in behind his desk.
"Computer, pull up the com relay and send burst signal to Admiral Stanton." John really didn't want to talk to the brass tonight, it was so lovely outside. He lit a cigarette and the chair leaned backwards, reclining him so he could put his feet up on the desk and relax.
"Sending burst signal now via com relay three...burst signal sent, locating recipient...located. Admiral D.V. Stanton of the United Republic of Sol Flagship Hyrophant, military code 345-6--"
"Skip the crap computer, where is the Hyrophant currently?"
"The Andarii System...in orbit around Tau Theta II...on course for Karzn V, Sigma Base."
What in the world is the fleet doing in the--"
A small holographic screen suddenly materialized above the desk. The Admiral's face took up the majority of the screen.
"Captain Rames, good to see you. How's my daughter doing?" the face on the desk asked.
"Arla is fine, sir. She's off on an MC she built herself chasing my patrols around..."
"Good to hear, good to hear. I bet your wondering why I have brought the fleet to the Andarii system. Well, don't ask, I'll go ahead and fill you in. You've been reassigned to the starcruiser the URS Leviathan. You are to be stationed there starting as soon as we make orbit around Karzn V."
"Space duty? But why, sir? I'm a marine captain, not a navy boy. I belong here with my men."
"Don't question your orders Captain, your men will be going with you. Sigma base is being disbanded."
As soon as that had been said, the holo-com relay faded and shut down.
John lit another cigarette. He needed time to think. He had only four days to pack up the base and get his men ready for the dropships.
After leaving the HQ, John once again boarded his MC, it was time for that pleasure cruise. He sped off into the night racing the wind in a random direction. He was thinking about his conversation with the admiral and not his driving, so it was not a huge surprise when his MC's port stabilizer was sheared off by a boulder he came too close to. He bounced across the grass for a few meters, his MC rolling beside him. He finally came to a stop, lying on his back. He got up and checked himself for injuries, nothing seemed wrong for the moment. The MC was another story though...it was a huge ball of twisted metal and wires...trash. He was right about to head back toward base for the long walk he knew lay ahead of him when he heard a faint sound, like a child crying.

Should John investigate? Should he return back to base straight away? Should he call out to whoever is making the sound?

Hope you're still enjoying, remember: I need your input!

Rapid Fire

2005-12-19T19:38:00.000-08:00

First of all, and on a note that is totally unrelated to this blog, I'm jealous! I don't ever get to meet Discom...you punks.

Ok, now that that is said, we get to the point of this blog. Ram, you said I should write a book? Sure! On one condition: you help me (and every other blogger who reads each episode on this blogsite. At the end of every episode(chapter etc...) I will give you readers a choice and I want y'all to give me your input. You will be directing the way the story goes.

For example: John Rames runs in to a creature that looks threatening, but has not made any moves toward him yet. Does he shoot it or wait to see what it does?

I hope y'all understand how this works and I really would like y'all to participate! Here goes...

Chapter One

John Rames looked out over the cliffside at the sunset this alien world had to offer. With it's many shades of greens, blues and violets, it wasn't hard to appreatiate the difference from one of Earth's. The breeze blew his long black hair from his forehead where it had been laying forgotten and continued it's way down the ravine to the small colony a couple miles south. One could only guess what was going on in his mind as his blue eyes gazed at the many wonders this alien world could produce. The sounds of the karaz birds looking for one last meal of the day floated down from above.

The sunset only last a few seconds, time on this world being what it was, but he would see another one before a standard earth-day passed. As soon as night fell, a black and silver MC-350 all-purpose single man patrol vehicle pulled up. The man riding it wore the black fatigues of a marine, "Captain, the Admiral's on the horn... sounds serious. You are to report back to him, ASAP."

John half-turned, "Understood, Private. I'll be there shortly." John wasn't wearing his uniform, but he mused that the private most likely knew who he was, not from his face, but from the fact that he was the only person on Karzn V who wore blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black leather trenchcoat that matched his black boots.

As soon as the private had left, John turned to his own MC-350, or "MadCat". The MC was basically a motorcycle that hovered three and a half feet off the ground. Capable of extremely high speeds and two fixed machineguns on the front, it was the favored vehicle for marine scout and recon teams. John mounted his and started it. The on-board computer flashed to life and the MC rose. He kicked the accelerator and his madcat tore off through the fields away from the ravine heading south-west. Maybe he would take the long way back to base...

Will John head stright back to base, or will he go for a mid-night pleasure cruise?

Hope you're enjoyin it! Remember, the story can't progress without your input!!!

Loser means.....Me

2005-12-14T12:58:00.000-08:00

L- Lathargic
O- Overtalkitive
S- Stupid
E- Empty-headed
R- Retard

These are a few of the many words that describe me, folks. Yes, it's true. Now you may be saying, "Hey, that Killjoy is one cool dude!" Sorry, you've been duped. I'm actually a moron traipsing around like a normal person. Maybe idiot is a better word...hmmm. I'll have to think about that one. Anyways, it's time fopr me to go and for you to sigh a huge sigh of relief that this blog is finally over. Goodnight.

Diary of a Freedom Fighter Pt. 2

2005-12-13T20:21:00.000-08:00

December 13, 2005

We ran the raid on the radioshack last night. It was the first time I have ever taken a life. I'm just gald it was one of those stinkin garden gnomes! We entered through the front door(those gnomes treat the front door like the backdoor, backwards buttheads...) and proceeded cautiosly as we regrouped in the funiture section. Tammy decided we should split up and cover more ground quicker so as not to be there that long... it was not a good idea.

At first, there were no sightings except one. Jordan found one near the checkout counter with his back turned on her. Stupid gnome lost his head at the faint puff of a silenced 9mm. After that, all hell broke loose. Three of the freaks dropped on Tammy from above and took her out quickly. Joey stood up and let loose with his 12 gauge in to the trio after they had finisehed Tammy, only to be taken out by the sniper. There was a general retreat called and we fought like rabid wolves toward the exit.

We made it back to the high school and regrouped. Lucy never showed...God help her soul. I can't say if it was worth it or not, but I did take some solace in the fact that they lost more "men" than we did. We lost three, they lost at least fifteen. Poor Joey, and he had the only street howitzer...

FFFC

Killjoy

Diary of a Freedom Fighter Pt. 1

2005-12-12T18:21:00.000-08:00

Dec. 12, 2005

It's been three months since they came and took over. In the beginning, it was just an outlying house here and there. We didn't think much of it then. We should have though, yes, we should have! They finally attacked the city outright a month and a half ago. They didn't take prisoners, no, they just took lives. The casualties were enormous!

So far, a small group of us has managed to stay low and avoid being seen by the treacherous little bastards. Lawn ornaments-my aunt's left arm! We have stock-piled weapons, ammo and supplies in the high school, but there just isn't enough of us to wage an all-out war on them. We now believe they may have taken prisoners, a few mind you. We've seen thier agents walking down the street in broad daylight...Jonny thought they were allies. They weren't. They were the enemies's agents: zombified humans! Poor Jonny, they drug him off to the police station-their main HQ. We have decided to strike back. Hopefully someday we can mount a rescue, if it's not too late.

We number only six now after Jonny was taken. WE plan a coup tonight against the Radioshack a block away. We are hoping this strike might provide us with some intel on just how bad our situation is. Are we totally alone in this fight? How many of the evil midgets are there? Can we hope to win with guerilla-warfare? Only time will tell. Well, I'm off now, I'll try to write again later.

FFFC(Freedom Fighter First Class)

Killjoy

Laugh if you must...

2005-12-07T17:58:00.000-08:00

I'm usually too ashamed to share my writing with anybody, but tonight I decided to make an exception. Now, don't say:"Killjoy, you must be a good writer," cuz I'm not. I've written at least 20 books and all of them were dropped after the second chapter, no later, pending thier cornyness. Like I said before though, I decided to share with you something that just popped into my head this morning while I was working(with the most severe headache mind you...come to think of it, this might be headache-inspired...).

WE FOLLOWED

We followed a man,

And knew Pride.

We followed our pride,

And knew War.

We followed war,

And knew Death.

We followed death,

And knew The Value Of Life.

We followed life,

And knew Beauty.

We followed beauty,

And knew Women.

We followed a woman,

And knew a Child.

We followed a child,

And knew Love.

We followed love,

And we knew Passion.

We followed...

And knew Self-Destruction.

Well, there you have it folks. Laugh if you must, don't worry. You won't hurt my feelings. Goodnight.

Oh and, is it me, or are my blogs getting stupider and stupider?

Huntin' 'bots...

2005-12-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hello folks!

Wanna join my hunting party? Let me explain before you answer. I am out hunting internet bots. These I-bots are also known as pop-ups. THEY ARE EVIL! How do you hunt I-bots you ask? EASY! Just follow the instructions below:

Go to your favorite search engine and type in a random vague search subject.
Now that your browser is becoming full of "interesting" links about said vague subject, click on one at random (farther from the top is better, they are more likely good hunting grounds)
Wait for your chosen hunting site to load....good. If this truly is a jucy hunting ground you'll have several targets, or:prey.
You'll notice a little red "X" at the top-right of the prey's head. We I-bot hunters call this the "brain".
Click or "Shoot" the brain to kill your current target. Can you hit it with just one shot?
Now, always remember to use caution when hunting I-bots, the BULL I-bots(usually porn ads) tend to stampede when one is taken out.
Note: There is no legal limit to how many I-bots you can kill in one "hunting season" so feel free to give in to those genocidal urges.
Always use correct "mouse-saftey" techniques!!!! One bad shot in some hunting grounds can blow you into an I-bots breeding ground!(these are also usually porn sites) We encourage hunters to have fun, but use caution! We've lost too many unfortunately careless hunters to thier breeding ground-torture techniques, they will turn you into a slave!
HAPPY HUNTING!!!

This has been a posting of the "Killjoy's I-bot Exterminator Foundation" or KIEF. Have a good day.

Oh God, I'm coming down!!!!

2005-12-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

Shoot, this week is finally over people! FINALLY! Sometimes I think the weekend will never come, and sometimes it doesn't. But seriously, I was pondering the size of the galaxy today it made me think...I CAN FIT IT IN MY PANTS, BUT NOT MY BUTT!!!! Holy cow! Ram, I'd rather have the "my pants are too big" syndrome than the "Hey! You like plumber's crack? I got plenty of it!!!!" syndrome. I weigh a woppin 220! I used to be 165! WHAT IN THE SAM-HELL HAPPENED TO MY BUTT?! It's like a freakin' elephant has been welded there! SHEESH!

I need to go mourn my fatness and eat something...

I finally found the missing piece to the-darn it, dropped it again...

2005-11-30T17:00:00.000-08:00

Hello folks.

Yes, it's torture time. The time where you sit there at your computer reading meaningless ramblings of a 21 yr old who has pert-near lost his mind(87.98% to be exact). Now, I've got something to say that is great news for me. This news(you'd better sit down to read it) needs a little background first.

When me, Beef an' Ram were kids, nothing was quite alright. I was an angry kid that took out all of my frustrations on the two people I hold dearest to me in the world: my sibs. Yes, there was much verbiage to provoke me from them at times, but it was no excuse for me to return it with fists and feet.
I used to get back at slights both real and falsely percieved with verbiage that tends to rip holes in loved one's hearts.
Now, I tried my best to stop this when I realized(yes it took me forever-I'm a dumba@$ like that) what I was doing to my relationships with my family. This is when I was about 13/14. I managed to quit hitting my sibs, but the abusive verbiage continued it's ever-marring flow.
For 5 years me and Beef did not talk much at all outside a passing "Hello" or "Bye".
Finally, when I turned 18, I finally approached my bro and requested a heart to heart. This talk was very difficult for me but it is something I wish I had done long before.
The same night, I called my sis in Abilene and had a heart to heart with her too. There was crying on both sides(YES I CRIED! WANNA MAKE SOMETHIN OF IT?!) and she forgave me.
Over the last 3 years my relationships with my sibs have improved a little, but I'm still wishing I could hang out with them like they do each other. You see, it seems most of the time like they still fear I might do or say something damaging again, but I really do try my very best not to...

Now, here's the news that I'm so elated about: on Thanksgiving Eve, me and my bro shared a hotel room and sat up most of the night talking. We talked FOR HOURS! Me and Beef(or Ram for that matter) NEVER talk that much! I was so...happy just doesn't seem to do it...happy that I had actually spent some of what at least I would call "quality time" with my little brother. Now, I don't hold any illusions that someday we will be the bestest of friends, but it is a start.

Well happy pee-o-ples, it's time for me to say goodnight. So, GOODNIGHT!

Oh, and by-the-way, Ram and Beef, if you need anything, I'm here for you...espeacially if someone has crossed your line (like that soon-to-be-throttled B*&#%-Jeff)

Ram, this one's for you!

2005-11-29T19:27:00.000-08:00

I was driving to work this evening listening to one of the 80's and early 90's gretest bands: Ace of Base. My sister, Ram, got me hooked on them years ago...anywho, there I was driving and listening and pondering the meaning of life when the song "Lucky in Love" came on. Great song, and it got me thinking about my sister's newest accomplishment: Seducing a Knight in Shining Armor and duping him into giving her an engagement ring. Just kidding, her boyfriend just asked her to marry him and she said yes(of course). Anyways, I started thinking about a line in the song that is heard as follows(it's also the chorus): "Lucky in love belongs in teenage heaven I know, I know, cuz I've been there with you tonight." Normally, a person would just sing along like a mindless zombie never wondering how that line in that song could pertain to thier life, but I, being the pondering philosipher that I am, started pondering.

Does love really belong just to teenagers? Well obviously, no. However: if one is so lucky to be in love, isn't thier heart in a constant state of youthful optimism? For example: Relate my sister's relationship with her hubby-to-be, Mark with my grandparent's(who, by the way, have been married for 49 and a half years-happily). Mark looks a Ram with all the adoration and love of a puppy to it's 5-year old owner. My grandfather looks at my grandmother the exact same way.
I know what it is like to be in love(though I lost her some years ago) but, I still know the feeling. Does this feeling of love you have the first day you realize you do love, the same as the day you kiss your significant other on the day of your 75th anniversary? I don't know, I don't know anybody who has been married that long.
Does this feeling of "lucky love" really keep your heart feeling like a teenager's when you lay your gaze upon the object(person) of your passion? I don't know, I lost my fiance at 19, so technically I was still a teenager.
Does any of this actually make sense? This also, I don't know. But rest assured: I will keep pondering the subject(stated here in #4)

But enough of the philosophy, the song is a good one, and it just made me think of my sister's oh-so-apparent happiness when she looks at Mark. As our mother said recently: It's the happiest any of our family has seen Ram in a LONG time. This is a GREAT thing. I ccan't tell you how reassuring it is that she has found a man that makes her happy. I also like the look in his eyes when he looks at her: pure adoration. Good start Mark!

Well folks, it's time for me to go now, so in closing: Ram, I truly hope you found this "Lucky Love" and it does you right and helps mend whatever wounds you heart has previously suffered. If Mark is the guy I think he is, then you truly have. LOVE YA SIS! Goodnight everyone.

I ran away, but the only place to run to is here...

2005-11-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long absence(did I spell that right?). I have been a bit preoccupied licking my wounds from the...alas, I digress. I don't need to mention any more about it. Frustrated is no doubt bragging... Well, it's back to work again after a good holiday away from home. Did anybody else miss work as much as I did? Man, today it felt like I was pulling nails through my eyeballs, but I have to get that legendary paycheck so I guess it's all worth it. Sorry again people, but I have run out of time. Anyway, one last thing: My adoring fan club has asked me repeatedly if I had run away. The answer: No, regrettably folks, when I have time, I will be back to fill your skulls with more more-than-useless info. Thats all folks!

Did Tolkien know he was right? Bet not...

2005-11-17T16:56:00.000-08:00

Well my friends, the world of modern science has done it again! My best friend the other day was sitting in front of the boob-tube when he saw something on National Geographic that he concluded must be brought to my attention. Now remember this: though,if I believed it, I would have been as excited as a five year old boy in a dinosaur museum exhibit, I was sorely taken back. National Geographic is claiming they found a new skeleton. This is nothing new, they are ALWAYS finding some new bone or another to claim that I came from a monkey(they haven't convinced me yet...). The horribly funny thing about this is yet to come, so hang on. This particular skeleton is very short(what's new?) and has big feet(there's a new thing). Now, you might be wondering: 'What does this have to do with anything funny or the title of this blog?' Well folks(are you ready?), here it is: they believe they have found the TRUE missing link's species. What can it be?! What is it?! THEY SAY IT IS A REAL USED-TO-BE-ALIVE-AND-WE-DESCENDED-FROM-IT...........HOBBIT!!!! Yes! You heard me correctly(with that blown away sounding voice in your head)!! A Hobbit folks. No longer are we monkey derivitives! We came from hobbits. Boy, you sure do learn something new everyday, don't 'ya? If I had only know...why, I would have cried when Frodo lost his finger to Golem! ****(weeping)Golem you bastard! That's my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great GRANPAPPY! Give his (sobs) finger...(chokes with emotion)back! (a loud moaning wail amidst a stream of sobs) No wonder I only have four finger and one thumb! (more sobbing) You, you, you, butthead!**** Sometimes I wonder what Yale and Princeton will teach the scientists of tomorrow(today class we're learning that kids don't come from sex but shaking hands...). In closing: now that we have this info, go give you nearest loved-hobbit a hug and tell em how much you love em!

Geezers drool, everybody knows that...

2005-11-16T12:05:00.000-08:00

Frustratedwriter was right...the geezers will play a good game this year; that is, for slow old men whose spirits are pert-near broken by the brazen unbound energy of thier kids. You see, we weezers realize one thing as we draw nearer and nearer to become the geezers of tomorrow: no matter how old they get, the geezers will always be able to soften the blow of thier own defeat with pretty words and soft, silken phrases of excuse. Well, not this time Frustrated! We will show just how our bronchial-relieved lungs can fill our bodies with the oxygen we need to get the legs and arms(if not always the brains) pumping and do our duty to you. That is, dragging your pride through the dust and grime as we run down the muddy fields of that legendary place carrying that brown ball of glory to the goal you know you are hopeless to keep from us! So, in closing...bring it geezers, you're only running down a dark road to defeat. Save yourselves the pain of arthritic philangies burning as you try desperately to hold on to one small glimmer of hope. The time draws near...and killjoy will once again be there: so, BRING IT GEEZERS!!!!

Pay Day!!!! (X-mas...where are you?!)

2005-11-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

Yes folks, it's pay day again! WOOOOOPIE!!!! Let's party! Right? Nope, the only partying I will be doing is with the bill collectors...it's the same for everyone, I know. Anyhoo, I was reviewing my collective green paper printed on a cashier's check when I noticed something: Uncle Sam figured that I needed to buy him a new car, or a new house, or a new wife...anyway, He took a full quarter of my check! Now, you may think, "Big woop, he does that to me too," but the thing is that I have always claimed the same thing on every w-4...and he just now decides to deliver the big wammy-whopper! What a cheap a#@! Sorry for the needful censoring but I needed to vent.
Now, to the point of the story: I just went to santa to pull out an advance and he gave me one (wheeeew...that was close, now I can go party will bill collectors). The thing is: the bill collectors came and took his head for backpayment for past-due bills! Sorry friends, X-mas is not coming this year. Nope, and it's all my fault. Or rather...it's all Uncle Sam's fault. Yeah, I think I'll just blame it all on him like the liberals do...

Please me fools!

2005-11-15T17:10:00.000-08:00

Hello again peoples of the o-so-happy world!
I've come to believe that someone up in the pale blue hates me. Maybe not God, but an angel maybe? Anyway, my reason for believing this is that every time I get my blazer fixed, it breaks again! It is so frustrating! ARRRRRRRRGH! You should know I am a big fan of Chevys but this time they shamed themselves...really.
Anyhoo...(i love that word...anyhoo...ANYhoo...anyHOO...AnYhOo...hee hee) I must get to the point: life sucks. Seeing this as an infallible truth, I have now adopted the saying: Life sucks, so be a bottle of caster-oil. You see? That stuff is HORRIBLE tasting! SUCK THAT LIFE!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! (that last comment is to be read in a diabolical voice in your head). By the way, in ending: please donate a paltry sum of $1000 to my address for the Save the Turtle's Day Fund. Every LITTLE bit counts. (Hey, 1k bucks is a little bit, right?) And, so all of you will know, my nick name is Turtle...why should you donate? Because you wierdo! My attitude makes the world spin 'round. If I'm in a bad mood, good buy people of this gods-blasted rock! Ha ha ha ha aha ha aha ahem...(also to be read in a diabolical voice in your head).
Ok, that's all for today folks, maybe tomorrow will be better...until then, G'NIGHT!!!!!!!!

Imma Genis

2005-11-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

Sorry people, I'm new to this and this first blog is gonna be short. I just sat here for over half-an-hour and wrote a hilariously funny blog, then i lost it. Yup, I lost it. From now on, my name is Imma Genis. If you can't figure out the name, your new is Urra Genis. Good, we're releated and were RUSSIAN!!!!! YEAH! (sorry, I have a thing for russian accents-they are so cool). Anyways, I need to go now so I will blog ya'll later. Well, l8erz.